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Bob and Bill were brother masons and great friends for most of their lives.

Each had agreed that when one of them passed on to that Grand Lodge above, he would attempt to make contact with the other and tell him all about what heaven was like.

As so happened, Bill went to heaven, first.

One night Bob was just drifting off to sleep when he heard Bill's voice calling to him.

"Is that you, Bill?

"Yes, Bob. I am honoring our agreement."

"Oh, MY,.... what's it like?" Bob asked with some anticipation.

"It's like nothing you could ever imagine. The lodge here is fantastic,... better than any lodge we ever saw on Earth.

The meetings are always well attended, the ritual is letter perfect, the friendship nights always have tons of new people just itching to join, and the spirit of fellowship blankets the entire place."

Bob's eyes teared up.

"Oh, my, it's just like we'd hoped.  I'm so happy for you. But I have to ask,... that sounds really great, but you didn't really seem all that excited. What's wrong?"

"Well, I have some good news and some bad. The good news is that we're raising a fellow to the third degree next Wednesday."

"That's fantastic. What's the bad news?"

"Your name is on the list to be the Senior Deacon."
 



One night (a long time ago in a jurisdiction far, far, away) a brother was heading home after indulging a bit too much at the festive board after his lodge meeting.

He was weaving a little across the path, steadying himself against the lamp-posts.

A concerned policeman saw him, and walked over.

"Well sir, where are we going at this time of night, eh?" he asked.

The brother replied "I, officer, am going to a lecture on Masonry!"

Bemused, the policeman asked, "And just where are you going to hear a lecture on Masonry at this time of night?"

The brother replied, "From my wife!!!"
 



A man is walking through the recreation ground of his local park when he notices a huge fight going on in full fury on the football field he is passing.

"What's going on?", he asks a spectator, watching from the side-lines.

The other replies "It's a match between the Masons and the Knights of Columbus."
 
"What's the score?" asks the first man.

"I don't know.  It's a secret."
 


 

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Masonic Humor and Masonic Jokes

Click below to see joke contributions from other visitors to this page...

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