Masonic Humor
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Masonic Jokes

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If you have some funny, comic, Masonic humor or amusing Masonic jokes you'd like to share, please type or copy and paste them into the form, below.



Masonic Humor




Bob and Bill were brother masons and great friends for most of their lives.

Each had agreed that when one of them passed on to that Grand Lodge above, he would attempt to make contact with the other and tell him all about what heaven was like.

As so happened, Bill went to heaven, first.

One night Bob was just drifting off to sleep when he heard Bill's voice calling to him.

"Is that you, Bill?

"Yes, Bob. I am honoring our agreement."

"Oh, MY,.... what's it like?" Bob asked with some anticipation.

"It's like nothing you could ever imagine. The lodge here is fantastic,... better than any lodge we ever saw on Earth.

The meetings are always well attended, the ritual is letter perfect, the friendship nights always have tons of new people just itching to join, and the spirit of fellowship blankets the entire place."

Bob's eyes teared up.

"Oh, my, it's just like we'd hoped.  I'm so happy for you. But I have to ask,... that sounds really great, but you didn't really seem all that excited. What's wrong?"

"Well, I have some good news and some bad. The good news is that we're raising a fellow to the third degree next Wednesday."

"That's fantastic. What's the bad news?"

"Your name is on the list to be the Senior Deacon."
 


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One night (a long time ago in a jurisdiction far, far, away) a brother was heading home after indulging a bit too much at the festive board after his lodge meeting.

He was weaving a little across the path, steadying himself against the lamp-posts.

A concerned policeman saw him, and walked over.

"Well sir, where are we going at this time of night, eh?" he asked.

The brother replied "I, officer, am going to a lecture on Masonry!"

Bemused, the policeman asked, "And just where are you going to hear a lecture on Masonry at this time of night?"

The brother replied, "From my wife!!!"
 



A man is walking through the recreation ground of his local park when he notices a huge fight going on in full fury on the football field he is passing.

"What's going on?", he asks a spectator, watching from the side-lines.

The other replies "It's a match between the Masons and the Knights of Columbus."
 
"What's the score?" asks the first man.

"I don't know.  It's a secret."
 


 

Freemasonry isn't all symbolism and ritual.  Masonic humor and Masonic jokes abound.

 

Masonic Humor and Masonic Jokes

Click below to see joke contributions from other visitors to this page...

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Masonic Light Bulb Joke 
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How Many Masons Does It Take? 
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Two men were riding in a truck together through Montana observing the wildlife along the way. Upon spotting a wild elk, the first man says to the other, …

How Many Masons Does It Take? 
How many Masons does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder. One to hold the ladder. ...and one to say, "We don't …

Masonic Light Joke 
A small Lodge had had a string of bad luck. It was preparing to initiate a candidate on a steamy evening in June and it′s air conditioner had stopped …

Masons vs Knights of Columbus Joke 
A postman, on his route, picked up a letter from a mailbox that was addressed to God. The postman, seeing that the letter was not sealed, and there being …

Masonic Brotherhood Joke 
One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too much wine, and his host was very worried, as he did not want him …

Tyler Joke 
Tyler Joke: A man was checking into a small hotel on the outskirts of town when he saw a sign on the wall which read, "HIRAM LODGE, Meetings every …

Rodent Problem 
A small lodge had a rodent problem. They had tried all sorts of way to rid themselves of the rats and mice with traps, poisons, and exterminators. …

How Many Masons? 
How many Masons does it take to change a light bulb in the lodge room? Three or more, because we have to put it to a vote and then ballot upon it.

A Masonic End - Gallows Humor 
As a man was standing on the gallows, his executioner asked if he had any last words. "Yes," the man replied "I hate Masons." The executioner was …

UK FREEMASONRY AND OUR POLICEMEN JOKE 
At 9 o'clock one evening outside Freemason's Hall in London a police sergeant was instructing a young police cadet on how to increase his arrest rate. …

Masonic Light Bulb Joke 
How many Freemasons does it take it to change a light bulb? It's a secret.

Why Do Masons Wear Aprons? 
Masonic Humor: Why do Masons wear aprons? To cover their working tools.

You Might Be Involved With The Freemasons If Not rated yet
1. ...If your yearly dues are bigger than your car payment. 2. ...If you are looking for a new degree team, because you feel you do not get enough …








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